The worst thing about adapting to a new culture is… well, adapting. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like changes. I like things the way they are, as they are not changing all the time. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to have kids. Kids change, they grow up, they don’t stay attached in an age frame. They are constantly moving. They go through phases. Everything is a phase when you are a kid. You have the “why” phase, the learning phase, the teeth growing and falling phases.

The denial phase is refusing to grow up

Wanting to be attached to a phase is a childish thing to do. You loved learning the alphabet so much that you don’t want to go any further, but you have to. You won’t be 6 forever. This may be the phase I’m going through right now. I wanna be 6 forever. Not literally, but figuratively. To adapt, you need to be aware of your limitations and be patient. Kids are neither.

I was 29 when I arrived in NYC. The Saturn Return phase, the reality check phase. I wasn’t good with reality, and not because I’m a writer, I think it is the other way around. Astrologers say this is the time in your life you learn about your limitations. I found a lot of constraints in the past three years, mainly because I was 9080967 miles away from my comfort zone, adapting. I spent three years in the denial phase, like a stubborn child.

Freedom is another word for responsibility

I desperately wanted to be free when I was young, so I wished I was an adult. At the time, I didn’t understand that freedom is another word for responsibility. You can’t have one without the other. You have to compromise with your freedom. It takes sacrifices. It takes everything from you, it shakes your pillars, it turns your life upside down.

When your world is upside down may be wise to learn yoga

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t know how your life will be after your world is upside down. Maybe it is wise to learn some yoga. They say life is not linear. It is a spiral. What is that supposed to mean? Am I returning to the Return of Saturn phase? I don’t like this idea. I wish passing a phase was like finishing college. – You get a degree, you have documents to prove you are over it and ready for your next phase. – But it is not like that at all. Life has no guarantees, and it freaks me out. For now, I’ll be an adult and accept that I have no idea about what’s coming next into my life. Maybe I’ll write fiction. I miss doing that. Perhaps that’s why people have children. Parenting books say what’s next.