For the past two years, I’ve been working intensely towards completing an old dream: to write a book. I’m launching it on August 26th in Rio de Janeiro, September 1st in São Paulo, and New York City later. I hope friends can attend this unique moment in my life. Please, feel free to send the invitation to your Brazilian friends.

Over the last few months, I’ve discovered that writing a book is the easy part of launching it. I never imagined that post-production (editing, cover, layout, etc.) would require more of my presence than the writing itself. Maybe I’m not being fair. Each process involves a different kind of attention. But I didn’t imagine being involved in body and soul in all the phases.

It’s good that we’ve established that living in the present is the way of being happy. No escape is possible at this time. The rule is valid for all (I believe) aspects of life:

• Whether launching a personal project.
• As is my case.
• Whether within a corporate career or choosing a movie to watch on a lazy Sunday.

Running away is leaving your protagonism in the hands of other people. Then it is necessary to choose from the most bearable pain: not accomplishing something or not taking responsibility for your happiness.

Choosing to be the protagonist is synonymous with knowing yourself, which is not easy. It’s welcoming insecurities, fears, and anxieties. It is building a solid foundation, so your frustrations have space to be healed, not destroy you. I often felt trapped and powerless, which is normal. I didn’t always have the tools I have now. And I’ll probably feel helpless again, faced with challenges I don’t feel capable of overcoming.

I, who like guarantees, would appreciate having a wall full of diplomas, and agreements I make with the universe so that everything goes as planned. The wish list is long: no bad reviews, high praise, books sold, contract for the next book at a major publisher, with Netflix to write a series, and so on.

But I never got those deals. And honestly, maybe there wouldn’t even be a book if everything had gone as planned. Or, maybe it’s the opposite. Everything went exactly as planned. I didn’t have the subtlety to perceive the “yes” behind the rejections.

Being yourself means dealing with all these frustrations and coming back to try again, in the same way, in a different way, upside down if you have to, but trying again. Not having guarantees doesn’t necessarily make me happier or stronger, but it’s the only reality. There is no book without the doubt of whether people will like the cover, my writing, or even if it will be a project I am proud of or ashamed of.

I try to reduce the damage by doing my best, staying overnight editing, following every detail of the layout, and going several days in a row to get print proofs. Doing everything in my power to make it a product I’m proud of, regardless of the results.

At age 29, during an existential crisis, I wrote that I had built the resources to become a writer. I put that passage in the book because I wasn’t wrong. The process, which isn’t linear, just took longer than I’d like.

I used to look for happiness in ports disconnected from me and needed to learn to see myself in the mirror before fulfilling desires masked as diplomas.

Starting next week, I will publish some book chronicles on the blog. In the newsletter, I continue to write part of the full blog post and tips on what to watch, do, listen to, etc.

Let the next phase come, and let it be exactly as planned! 😉